2016: New Year, New hopes, New Life

TL;DR: Another New Years Post.

What can I say. This year has been hectic. So many things have happened to me to the point where I don't know what's going to happen between now and the summer. I have no idea where I'll be. I hope to be in a better place financially, and become grounded, since I have been recently uprooted. I'm reinventing my life. I've had the chance to ask myself what I needed to do to change myself for the better. I looked really deep into myself and I found ugly subconscious things that explained my past self. It explained my thinking, and it lead me to where I'm at today, and I'm so grateful for the experience because its making me a better person. But don't get it twisted. I'm not recanting anything I wrote in these blog entries. There's no way in hell I should be sorry or remorseful for any of it, and I will not let anybody tell me otherwise.

Now that I got that out of the way:

I'm glad for what I learned because it enables me to help others. My goal is to be able to break everything down in a way that anybody could understand as long as they learn, and actually think about what they are told regardless if was written by somebody with multiple academic accolades. I want to be able to clearly explain it to someone without said accolades and not have them miss a beat. Once I could effectively do that, then I will teach others (that is if I haven't already because I have no idea who is reading this blog or not).

However, I can't say I know all because that is impossible. I keep finding out new stuff everyday, and to be honest, that new stuff keeps me grounded and on my toes. I like it that way because once a person gets stagnant, then that's how a person becomes a "big fish in a little pond" which is also known as falling victim to supremacy. And I can't go out like that. Not after all I've been through.

Anyway, What do you have in store for the New Year? What have you learned in 2015?

Random Thought #9 On Blindingly Bright Optimisim

I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that I'm starting to falter a bit. Well, yes and no. Yes, because I've often wondered if people actually think that I just might be stupid for having such hope for Black people and the situation we're in.  Some of us are still marching, and still praying. Some of us even want to vote for Donald Trump after all of the fuckery we've been through. I've had the misfortune of speaking to one person who was a supporter of his, and one who seemed to let on like he was going to say he'd vote for him.  I couldn't let either one of them go. I've decided to make it my goal to wake them up.


I had been thinking about this for some time, and I've asked myself, "Am I doing too much and asking too much of  myself?  Am I doing the unthinkable? Am I straight up stupid for even trying to go there?  Am I too optimistic for trying to wake up people like this?"


I waffled with the following thoughts:

The Black folks who fall into this group range from the solitary Black employee of (insert any company) to college student, or any Black person registered to vote. Hell, as far as I'm concerned, I could be trying to wake up Clarence Thomas or Ben Carson themselves, and we know some of us see them fools look like they're so asleep that they might as well be flat-lined.


 It's like people are more interested in using Harriet Tubman's quote, “I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.” just to provide themselves with the quick ability to throw away the Black person who just doesn't "get it".  


But that's the problem.  People are so quick to claim each other as "lost" that it seems like they're just itching to wash their hands clean of the so called "lost ones" and move on.  And that's not really moving on. That's wanting to be slathered in validation, which is something I can't get behind. So still I push on.  Again, am I stupid for doing so?  Am I opening myself to be hurt? Am I opening myself up to more stress?  Am I causing more damage to  my health?


I don't know. But I can say that it is a luxury to put my feelings before anything here. But my health is very important to me, so I've got to get it better. In order to do that, I've got to get my New Years goals in order as well.  I'm going to have to put all of my multitasking skills to the test, that's for sure. This means less sleep than before, which affects my health.


Do you see what I'm going through, LOL!


Anyway. I'm going to keep going. Nobody said this was going to be extra easy. Oh well. I'm already off to a good start. I've got to keep my head up despite how bleak things can look, and I hope you can too.