Let me get serious for a minute

I've been away for a very long time. Due to various events, I've had to take some time off from blogging. As a result, I've been very busy and I've been pulled in several directions. That being said, I'd like to give you guys a little bit of insight as to what has been going on. I can't give too many details, but here's a start:

When I was a kid, I wanted to be just like Martin Luther king. When I slept at night, I would dream that I would be speaking, and then all of a sudden, I would be shot and killed just like him. This was a reoccurring dream that I had from aged six until I got hit by a car in 2002. Then, the dream changed into me getting killed because I offended someone. After the Zimmerman trial, the dream changed into someone killing me "just because."


I've always had the drive to seek out truth in all forms. It got me in trouble at home, and it got me in trouble with the students at school because I "asked too many damn questions," much to disapproval of the kids who just wanted to get the hell out of that particular class in the first place, lol. The teachers LOVED it until I got into college. Both the students and teachers hated to see me coming. I earned a reputation for bringing up various points or addressing things that the teacher said in order to justify their borderline or blatantly racist beliefs that were inserted into the curriculum. Students retaliated via various passive aggressive ways and teachers did their own things to get back at me. I was labeled as "aggressive", and "outspoken", or a person who "thinks she's too smart," when the real reason why I had become this kind of person was that I kept wanting to know why these things were happening to me when I was a kid, and what caused all of them to happen to me and other people throughout my life. This prompted me to do a lot of research and figure it out.






Now that I can answer many of the questions I've been asking myself, I've known for quite some time, THAT is what makes people uncomfortable around me, and THAT would be the reason I was killed over and over in my dream, and hit by a car in real life.






To this day, sociology and psychology are my favorite subjects. I read about this stuff in my spare time so I can completely and fully understand what is going on around me. And that ability to understand what is going on around you has the potential to break a person because you become the person who has to explain over and over to people who ask these questions, but aren't really seeking answers. All they want to do is say, "NUH UHH, That's not how/why, etc."






This is why a person needs to read. Don't just pick up a book, open it and recognize the words, and pronounce them in your head. Look them up. Research the footnotes and references to what the author is talking about.






But guess what? No matter how many books I read, or how much breath, or how many keystrokes I waste my time with, somebody will find a reason to kill me, and they will do it by any means necessary if they should feel so inclined to. I think that was what the first dream was trying to tell me when I was a kid. I was pretty depressed growing up anyway, so why not, right? Why not die prematurely. This country ain't shit, and there are a lot of people in it who aren't shit, and they will try to justify their right to be "ain't shit" people. Silly me for thinking otherwise. tongue emoticon As a kid, I had a sense that a lot of people fit that description, but I really hoped that if I had the chance to grow up, maybe I'd meet some good people. I've met a few, but they are far few and in between. Some of the "good people" I've met in person have shown themselves over the years, and I'm just plain tired.






Anyway, I can't call it. Please feel free to pick apart what I said, tell me to smile because it would all get better, tell me to pray, send hearts, etc.

I've Figured This Out: In the wake of Ferguson, The Shaw Shooting, Dillon Taylor, John Crawford, Eric Garner, etc (Part 2)

In the previous blog, I wrote about the stereotypical American image and how it needs to be dismantled. Since then, I've thought more about this situation and I'd like to add the following.

On the "no one cares about White people" argument. I'd like to tell people that say this to GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT MESS. Here's why.

People cared when there were mass shootings all over the place, and the shooters killed White people. We were made to know about the casualties and how the shooter was apprehended (while alive, might I add) and dealt with in a swift manner. Why is it that when a single Black person is shot by a white person, White people cry about not getting enough attention for their deaths? After the Sandy Hook shooting, pink ribbons were tied to everything stationary and companies lowered their flags to half mast. We are MADE to pay attention to White deaths in this country. Whenever a mass shooting happens, the entire country gets reminded of it and all of the casualties, but when a single wrongful death of a Black person is mentioned, people lose their minds and say things like "White people have died too and no one cared." when in actuality, America is made to care about EVERYTHING that White people do.  It appears to me that White people always want to be the center of attention whenever it comes to dealing with anything related to Black people. This happens with killings, our art, ANYTHING, to the point where people like Rudy Giuliani and Ted Nugent have to add their two cents to tell people what is wrong with Black America. Funny how I never heard them say anything about the riots during the Pumpkinfest in Keene NH or Huntington Beach, or the riots when the San Francisco Forty Niners didn't win, but back to the original point I was trying to make.

Bottom line, I don't think a whole lot could be accomplished unless Black people are recognized for their humanity and as humans. Until then, this country will continue to hem, haw, scratch and pick like chickens at the racial issues that exist in this country. We can switch the issue and point it to "rich vs poor", when in actuality, that is only part of the problem. Poverty touches all races, but when the people in that demographic are too busy saying things like, "At least I'm not a nigger", and referring to all Black people as "moochers" and "welfare recipients", while ignoring that they are the chief recipient of those benefits, then they can not and will not be able to work together. Face it. If a poor White person could feel confident enough to look any Black person in the eye while summoning all the smugness and arrogance of  the entire Fox News staff  to confidently say something along the lines of, "We run this shit, and if you don't like it, then go back to Africa!" whenever he or she should see fit, then NO real reform could happen in this country. Its two things America loves to express its hatred for: Black people, and poor people, and they have a vested interest in keeping it that way. Long story short, any and all structures fueled via racism need to be completely dismantled regardless of the level that structure may reside in. It's going to take a lot of people, and a lot of careful planning.  That is all.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Thanks to the events leading up to today, I have wondered where do we go from here, and how do we get there.  First we must realize what we are fighting against. I've come to the following conclusion:

We are up against an unethical immoral people consumed with money and power. They will do ANYTHING for it, which includes enslaving people, committing genocide, etc while creating laws to protect themselves, and they will stop at NOTHING in order to maintain the status quo. They control the police,politics and the media. 

It seems that people speak of unity, but we want to work within a framework that doesn't have us in their best interest. If it did, then we wouldn't be where we are right now. Cliquing up with organizations will not fix this. I feel this was the same mistake that was made during the Civil Rights Movement. 

From where I'm sitting, that movement only got us jobs, and I still get looked at funny for sitting in the front of the bus. And even when we go to job interviews, we get discriminated based on our names,addresses and whether or not a Black woman has natural hair. I've even heard of natural women wearing wigs to job interviews just so they could get that job. What kind of progress is that? Sure, we make a bit more money at the expense of something, but monetary progression alone seems a bit non fulfilling. 

How can one exist in a country that was never EVER meant for them? Aside from withdrawing our money from it, and re directing where it goes, we still pay taxes. I believe we must figure out what we need to do to get out of this situation we are forced to be in.

I'm working on coming up with solutions, but they will not be posted for obvious reasons. Until then, we'll see. 

Worldstarhiphop and a Bit on Authority Worship.

DISCLAIMER: This blog is chock full of grammatical errors, sentence structure problems, punctuation issues and many other writing faux pas I didn't mention. I've found that writing like this serves as therapy, and gives me a concrete place to put my thoughts. They appear to be all over the place, and my paragraphs are long because I have so much in my head that I have to get it all out in some way. I mentioned in the introduction that I would rant about these things often. As we all know, ranting about things doesn't necessarily get them resolved. Instead of ranting at everybody over and over, I figured I'd put them here. Doing that gives me a sense of resolution, and reminds me that I have put the idea down for the time being. Otherwise, it would re circulate through my mind. 

Please forgive me if my writing style bothers you. I definitely understand why it would. That being said, I am still open to constructive feedback. Since I started writing these, I have changed the look, the font is bigger, and the paragraph spacing was a LOT less than it is right now. I'm still working on the paragraph lengths, and the grammar has improved since my previous post.

If anybody sees this. Thank you for reading. I greatly appreciate the fact that people are checking out these thoughts of mine. I just wonder if anyone else out there is thinking of the same stuff in the same way I'm thinking about it in my little corner of the universe.

That being said, let me get back to the subject.
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Here's an idea:

What if the people who spread the worldstarhiphop videos that had kids in them decided to collectively look for the parents or relatives of the kids in the video in hopes of fixing the behavior in the videos? The reason I said this was because I just saw a very tiny boy (looked to be aged 7) who was smoking weed. It messed me up because the boy was so tiny that he looked every bit of aged 7.

Here's what tripped me out: He was dressed clean, and appropriately for his age, and he was in a car while somebody was recording. He was sitting in the back of the car looking like somebody was picking him up from school.

I mean this boy was so tiny that he looked like was at the age where he finally figured out how to keep his bed dry at night. Needless to say, he was WAAAAAYYYY too young to be doing anything like that or knowing about anything like that. On top of that, it looked like somebody gave it to him, rolled it up and lit it so he could smoke it because that blunt was rolled tight and clean. He couldn't possibly know how to do that at that age.

People were saying that somebody needs to contact the "proper authorities". Why do we as a people have to run to authorities when stuff like that pops up? Due to recent events, it's plain to see that the authorities clearly don't have any interest in showing that ‪#‎BlackLivesMatter‬, so sending the kid to them would be a grave mistake. That being said, why can't people work together to find relatives of the person or people in the video that could take care of the kids? I mean, couldn't the kid go and live with family members who have the ability to give him the love and guidance necessary to make sure he grows up? I'm just saying.

Now before you all think I'm on some "extra good" type stuff, I will say this. If people want to smoke marijuana, then that's all them. BUT little kids shouldn't be doing that. And as far as sharing worldstarhiphop videos go: I hate those videos most of the time. I think the fights should stay in the hood where they belong and not be on the internet for everybody to gawk at. Don't get me wrong. If you have to fight, then you have to fight. I'm not against fighting AT. ALL. but maybe it's just me, I find it ugly to be airing out dirty laundry like that. Let the girl or guy get their butt beat in the hood and allow the beating to disappear like they used to. Keep that mess in the hood amongst the people involved, and not on the internet like its a prime time ghetto match on pay per view. But I guess that's just how I feel about it. <Kanye shrug>

For those who wonder which video I'm talking about, I will not share it. If I do so, I would be a hypocrite. I'll have to leave you to your own devices.  That is all.

Raven Symone: Girl Bye.

Okay, I saw the following interview where Raven Symone told Oprah that she didn't want to be labeled or seen as African American or gay. She said she wanted to be considered "human who loves humans". She also mentioned who she identified herself with: Caucasians, Asians, etc. Aren't those labels as well? But after that interview came out, she had to back peddle and say that she never said she wasn't Black, but she didn't want to be labeled as "African American." See, she wants it both ways. She wants to label people and not have them label her. A person can't claim "universal" in a country that refuses to recognize people who look like her as human and treat them as such. If a person has to put race behind everything in order to seen as human, then it really says a lot about so called humanity. That's why I am not here for Raven Symone's argument regardless if a celebrity says it or not.  And let's be real here, if something discriminatory should happen to her, she'd be the first to say it's because she is a Black Gay Woman.

All I can say is "Girl Bye!  And before you do, please GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT!"

I've Figured This Out: In the wake of Ferguson, The Shaw Shooting, Dillon Taylor, John Crawford, Eric Garner, etc

In case you've been wondering where I've been, I've been dealing with all of these shootings. I've been arranging protests, talking to politicians, and all of that kind of stuff, which don't lend much time to blog, therefore you guys won't see updates from me as often. Anyway, let's get right down to it:


Have you ever heard anybody say, "Well America doesn't care when a White person gets killed by the police, or when something of this sort happens to White people. They just ignore it. What about us? This shit happens here too, they're not special and I'm sick of it." ? Well, I actually have the answer for that argument.


The reason why it appears that America doesn't care about these sort of things when they happen to White people is because America spent SO MANY YEARS trying to convince people that anybody other than White is bad, and they are bad in every single way imaginable. There has been a mass campaign of propaganda that was and still is strewn all across the world that was geared towards instilling hatred for these people. America has devoted centuries to instilling this hatred, and making sure that America appears like a great country. America has molded the idea of what an American should look like, how rich this country is, and what a rich person should look like. The image of this sort of person is a White man with a White family. Americans are supposed to be nice,rich, and White. 


That "American" lives in a big house in a White neighborhood with no crime because everybody is White. If crime does happen, it will be rectified by a swift and just decision. American soldiers go to fight and free everyone else from their tyrannical situations, and the soldiers work to create an American like government to make people feel free.


This is the image that has been instilled into many generations of people. It has been passed down, and not given too much thought. People allowed this image to circulate, and they allowed the negativity whether they want to believe it or not.


Now how many "other" Americans in this country have paid attention to this programming as well? It's basically every type of non White person living in this country who has seen this stuff for many years. Now most White people haven't questioned this propaganda. They have knowingly or unknowingly accepted it
This is the exact reason why whenever injustices happen to White people, it appears as if people don't care. They BOUGHT the so called American Image. And those who complain about why it seems that no one cares about _____ happening to White people have allowed this to happen.


White people have to deal with this American image that was created and there's no getting around it. This is why when something happens to a poor White person, people appear to not care. They bought into the idea that nothing bad CAN happen to them because they are White, which makes some of them incredulous to the fact. It is why some White people show disdain for poor White people because they are White. This means that if you are White and poor, there must be something really wrong with you. It's almost as if they say, "How could YOU be poor. That's impossible. You're embarrassing us."


Since this idea has been woven into the fabric of The United States, that means dismantling this image will be difficult. This will not require some quick kumbya type band-aids issued by the government via voting. This will be deep, and a lot of people will have to question their identities. This means the country will have to work through each and every bit of propaganda that was strewn. They will need to turn it over, put it under a microscope, and actually LOOK, LEARN and DO. They can not look to Black people to fix this because after all, Black people had no part in making this image, nor did we gain any benefits from it.


That being said, all I can say to them is "Good luck with that."

And GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE with that "America doesn't care about White people" bullshit.

That is all.

The Problem With Ms. Hill.

I saw this article that Vibe Magazine put out and I decided I'd say something about it. Here's the video footage of the alleged "Kanye moment" as mentioned by the writer of this article.




 I get sick of people talking big shit on her. Sure, she had kids by a guy who she didn't marry and he was out (for lack of a better phrase) fucking and ducking. He broke her heart and she lost her mind for a while. That sort of thing happens to a LOT of people. Why did people shame her for that? She wrote about her relationships, and various things that happen in her life and people balked about what she had to say. They said she was trying to be "holier than thou" and trying to preach to people. I saw it as her trying to tell people what she had been through. Sure she did get at some men, but so what? Men shit on women CONSTANTLY in rap songs and no one bats an eye. She said something about some of the men she's been with or know about (without using or making up any derogatory slurs towards said men, might I add) and everybody was saying things like "Fuck that dumb bitch. She think she's too good, etc, etc." I guess women aren't allowed to mention said things (the aftermath of Nikki Minaj's Looking Ass Nigga was a great example of that) , but men can throw women under the bus all day and night and make up new slurs for all of the women they ran across. That shit is not cool at all. 

She's late to her shows. What planet are people on when they think a show is going to start on time? Shows NEVER, EVER start on time. At least she came to the shows and didn't use a stand in like MF Doom did, and yet people are still buying Doom's records. They said it was a "dick move" for him to do such a thing and left it at that. But oh no. Not Ms. Hill. She can't get a pass. Nope. And people want to say that she's rude. Newsflash! there are a LOT of rude artists out there, and I bet a lot of them are ruder than her. So What? If she's "rude to you" then don't see her play. Plain and simple. Nobody is twisting these people's arms or holding them at gunpoint and making them see the shows. If she is late to every show, people should expect that and prepare for it, since it's common knowledge in this case. In fact, this is the reason why I don't go to most shows. I just don't have the time these days. 

She is far from perfect, and is a flawed person. She's trying to get along in this world while people try to grasp at excuses to not like her. Whether it's for her music (That Thing, or any other song she wrote to blast on her ex-es WITHOUT male bashing slurs, might I add), or alleged "craziness" or not paying taxes. That being said, I haven't seen anybody talk shit on Wesley Snipes for not paying taxes, and he's been in jail for a while. In fact Murs wrote a song on the White Mandingo album called 'Free Wesley Snipes." If my memory is correct, people were mad that he got locked up and all of the Wall Street people are not locked up. People said that Wesley Snipes got locked up because he was Black, and people were mad about it. Why does Ms Hill get looked at in a different light? Sounds like she ought to write a follow up song to Mos Def's "Mr. N!gga" because it looks like she's getting the Ms. N!gga treatment to me. I'm just sayin.