At home, a particular sibling would do something uncalled for just to see how I would react. Again, I was told to ignore it and I was punished for resorting to my own solutions which often resulted in violence. I didn't have the tools to understand what was going on and why it would happen, so I would just get angry. I thought it was part of being a kid and eventually people would grow out of that phase. This lead me to pass down the behavior because I thought I was supposed to do it (If any of my siblings should see this, I'm sorry. I wish I could go back in time to fix it even if I did get in trouble for it when others didn't. (I'm still a bit irritated about that because it enabled a whole lot of foolishness that didn't do anyone any good.) ). Unfortunately high school wasn't any better, except there was a lot less violence and more verbal encounters. For example, in high school I was unfortunate enough to say "Hi" to a girl. She didn't respond back, so I thought she didn't hear me. Since I was not familiar with that kind of treatment, she jumped down my throat for even having the nerve to say, "Hi" to her in the first place. I was taken back, and confused, so I never talked to her again. However, she took it upon herself to be evil to me as long as I was in the same class she was. She did this for all four years. Sure, I thought she was really stupid and took my greeting way out of proportion. I ignored her for the most part. One day, I confronted her, and asked her why she was so mean to me. She just rolled her eyes at me, and gave me no response. All I could say was, "Whatever" and leave it at that.
Some years down the road, I had a job as a Quality Technician. It was part of my job to make sure all procedures in my department were followed correctly as described in the written processes. One day I was auditing an area and I was checking to see that each employee had been properly trained in completing their procedures. I came across a document that indicated that an employee wasn't fully certified in what they were assigned to do. I found it strange that the last time I checked the area, everyone was certified in all procedures. I had no idea who the trainer was at the time, so I reported my finding to the area supervisor. I knew everyone in the area including the supervisor, so I thought it would be a good idea to let him know about the status. Note, this anomaly could have resulted in a fine if an outside Quality Technician were to find out about it. The issue had been fixed, and out of the way. Unfortunately, that really wasn't the case.
A lady confronted me about my findings and told me that she had gotten written up for it. Now I had seen this lady from time to time, and I thought she was another welder in the area. It turned out that she was the trainer. I apologized for it and told her that I had no idea that she was the trainer and that if I knew she was the trainer, I would have spoken with her about it first. Before this incident, this lady was really friendly to me and seemed nice. Prior to the incident, we spoke from time to time and exchanged jokes. Boy did I accidentally open a can of worms with her because from that point on, she made my employment at that location a living hell aside from how difficult it already was. By that point, I had learned a lot about this lady and had many altercations with her. It turned out that she had been tampering with people's certifications whenever she saw fit. One person was denied a raise based on her actions. I had unknowingly put a stop to it. Eventually she was fired for other unrelated reasons.
Another instance involved working with a woman who had it out for me since day one. When I was still new, she kept writing me up for frivolous reasons (2 minutes late from break, etc.). She even prevented me from moving up and made sure everyone I trained got the chance to move up before I did (which I confronted her for). It got to the point where I would try to find her so we could discuss the writing ups and she would conveniently disappear. I finally cornered her in front of her supervisor about it and the writing ups disappeared. The same woman would accuse me of not knowing my job, she would try to bully me as much as she could, and accuse me of tampering with the equipment. Different variations of this behavior took place from the whole time she was there, but dwindled down after I changed my shift so I could get away from her. Even after she left on her own terms, I never got to find out what was wrong with her and what was her problem. Oh well. Good riddance.
By then, I still didn't know what passive aggressiveness was. It didn't dawn on me until a bit later. Many other events took place and I had grown to detest anybody who behaved like the people mentioned. I had become very allergic to those actions and I became no stranger to letting people know about their attempts especially in the workplace. I came to the conclusion that passive aggressive people are people who lack the necessary skills to effectively communicate any issues or disagreements with others so they make problems for the person or people they have a problem with. People like these know they may not have legitimate reasons for their issue with said person so they have to make any reason to dislike them. Some of these people are ill-equipped to handle real life situations, they can't tell the difference between criticism and critique, and they are unable to look for solutions. Not all people are like that, some just like to play mean spirited jokes just to see what the person would do (see sibling situation). Others can navigate life pretty well as long as their lives allow it, meaning as long as the people in their lives continue to look the other way. These kinds of people remind me of cats. Some cats may be awesome, but I'm talking about the cat that will take a dump on top of your refrigerator or in your shoes because one day, you didn't pet it properly. Or that cat that will get all on the counter and knock stuff down when you're trying to cook something, or it'll sit in your face and meow at you when you're trying to sleep or jump on your keyboard because it wants you to pet it right now (I'm not a cat person, can you tell, XD).
Another instance involved working with a woman who had it out for me since day one. When I was still new, she kept writing me up for frivolous reasons (2 minutes late from break, etc.). She even prevented me from moving up and made sure everyone I trained got the chance to move up before I did (which I confronted her for). It got to the point where I would try to find her so we could discuss the writing ups and she would conveniently disappear. I finally cornered her in front of her supervisor about it and the writing ups disappeared. The same woman would accuse me of not knowing my job, she would try to bully me as much as she could, and accuse me of tampering with the equipment. Different variations of this behavior took place from the whole time she was there, but dwindled down after I changed my shift so I could get away from her. Even after she left on her own terms, I never got to find out what was wrong with her and what was her problem. Oh well. Good riddance.
By then, I still didn't know what passive aggressiveness was. It didn't dawn on me until a bit later. Many other events took place and I had grown to detest anybody who behaved like the people mentioned. I had become very allergic to those actions and I became no stranger to letting people know about their attempts especially in the workplace. I came to the conclusion that passive aggressive people are people who lack the necessary skills to effectively communicate any issues or disagreements with others so they make problems for the person or people they have a problem with. People like these know they may not have legitimate reasons for their issue with said person so they have to make any reason to dislike them. Some of these people are ill-equipped to handle real life situations, they can't tell the difference between criticism and critique, and they are unable to look for solutions. Not all people are like that, some just like to play mean spirited jokes just to see what the person would do (see sibling situation). Others can navigate life pretty well as long as their lives allow it, meaning as long as the people in their lives continue to look the other way. These kinds of people remind me of cats. Some cats may be awesome, but I'm talking about the cat that will take a dump on top of your refrigerator or in your shoes because one day, you didn't pet it properly. Or that cat that will get all on the counter and knock stuff down when you're trying to cook something, or it'll sit in your face and meow at you when you're trying to sleep or jump on your keyboard because it wants you to pet it right now (I'm not a cat person, can you tell, XD).
I spent a lot of time ranting about this kind of thing in previous blogs already, but instead of continuing to go on and on about my obvious hate, contempt and very little tolerance for this sort of thing, I'm going to provide a solution to stop this behavior from spreading: Tell them to GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT MESS. Call it out in its entirety. Don't be shy about it either. Let that cat like bitch person know that you don't play that mess, nor will you make time in your life for it. Sure, people will want to tell you that you are "rude", and or "messed up". They only say that because you won't let them get away with their bullshit. They are rude for even suggesting that you are supposed to allow it in the first place, which is very messed up in itself. They can get the fuck on somewhere and miss me with that mess. And, they should miss you too. Maybe, just maybe it'll prevent a lot of fake foolishness and bullshit from going on between people, and you and everyone around you would be better for it.*
*I had to add a disclaimer to this just in case. If you get fired from your job because you socked the shit out of somebody for pulling passive aggressive mess that is not my fault. Nowhere in this blog did I mention you should bring violence into the equation. That goes for burning the place down, shooting people up, or having a "When keeping it real goes wrong" moment. Whatever you do, please use discretion. Godspeed.
*I had to add a disclaimer to this just in case. If you get fired from your job because you socked the shit out of somebody for pulling passive aggressive mess that is not my fault. Nowhere in this blog did I mention you should bring violence into the equation. That goes for burning the place down, shooting people up, or having a "When keeping it real goes wrong" moment. Whatever you do, please use discretion. Godspeed.
No comments:
Post a Comment