Random Thought #6

On Being "Woke"

I ran across this poem, and it brought up some feelings. Some feelings I've had for a bit of time, but have become extra apparent these past two years. Take a listen and then continue reading:

A few days ago, I had a conversation about the idea of being "woke" with a friend of mine. I noticed things about people who say they're "woke" and I paid attention. In fact, I paid so close attention, I started seeing things that didn't really make sense to me. I noticed a lot of people actually think they're kicking knowlege,but in reality, they're just regurgitating stuff.

Stay with me here, trust me:

 If those who say they're "woke" really do some research beyond youtube videos and conscious facebook pages, they'd find out some crazy stuff. Stuff that'll scare the shit out of themselves. They'll find out that White supremacy is so invasive that even the most so called conscious person will echo the same sentiments and not even notice. They'll find out the extent of it, the depths in which people have gone to defend it, and they'll find out their role. And they'll be confused. Confused because of what they thought they knew is a lie. They'll be mad, they'll be anxiety ridden, tired, and depressed. And when they think they're done feeling like that, they'd find out that's just the beginning.

Waking up isn't fun. It's very scary. It's a hard road to hoe, and it's a long dark road. And there is no finite depth to it. And they'd have to really untangle themselves from the fuckery. And that's not easy. And when they think they're finished, they're still just waking up from that particular sleep. There is no turning back.

A lot of people who think they're "woke" just want an echo chamber to spread vague concepts of what they think being "woke" looks like. That's not what "woke" is. That's a circle jerk.

For the record, I am not proclaiming myself to be "woke". However, I will say that I will always be learning,paying attention to my surroundings and people. I'm learning some really cool stuff, but I'm also learning stuff that's horrible. Stuff so horrible that I can't even begin to explain the depth of it because I'm still trying to figure out where I sit in it and what I'm going to do about it.

That being said, I can not call a person a sheep. Because everybody is and was there at some point. I'm just a sheep whose done a bit more research through reading, as well as internal reflection. I can't proclaim to be fully knowledgeable and grown without knowing exactly what to do in this framework I'm stuck working with. I'm not sure I even want to work within this framework anymore.

I can't say where I'm going, or where is up. But I can say that something different is needed.

But what, where, when , how, and which will need to change? I think I have a very firm grasp on what needs to change, but the how is killing me because each solution I come up with, I'm met with an obstacle that I'm not sure I could make my way over. I don't think it's possible, to be honest.