When we think about respectability politics, we automatically think of people with professional careers like Dr. Huxtable (Bill Cosby's character), Don Lemon, Ben Carson, and (for the better or worse) Stacey Dash. We think about the rhetoric that comes out of their mouths. We think about Black on Black crime, clothing, jobs church, Martin Luther King, ...well, you get the point. But I see the following:
Nobody actually takes a look at how harmful respectability politics are. They condition people to beg for respect under certain circumstances. It's more of a "Am I doing it right? See my clothes, I speak 'properly', and I denounce anything remotely Black. I'm good, right?"
And I say GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! to all of that and I say that we should re condition ourselves to demand respect by not begging for it. I say we should actually look at all possible avenues respectability politics tends to invite itself into.
Take the older generation. Some of them are firm believers in the 'begging for respect' avenue. They are so into it that they talk all kinds of crap about those who aren't like them. This creates the "I'm better than you because :
- I dress better than you
- I make more money than you
- I look better than you
- I speak more eloquently than you
- I'm smarter than you" argument.
They do it openly and gratuitously to the point where kids pick it up. They will imitate it in various ways. The older person might be on the phone talking about what "This (insert derogatory name) did" how, "he/she ain't shit." The kids will not only look down on people they feel are inferior to them, they will do two things:
- KILL each other, or
- become a "special snowflake".
When I say "special snowflake" I'm talking about the Don Lemons and those who talk bad about people who they think don't fit their idea of whose worthy of their attention and who isn't.
This is why same Black people say disparaging remarks about other Black people, and they may do this in White spaces as well in order to distance themselves from the rest of "the others".
This is also why a lot of young Black people kill each other. It's because they see another Black person and they treat them like their rival. It's also the same as why some corporate Black people (that list of folks I mentioned earlier) will spend time throwing salt at other types of Black people they feel who fit their idea of inferiority. There are two forms of death mentioned, one verbal and one physical. Enter "The Dirty Dozens" here. It was supposed to be a fun game where each jokester uses language in order to demean the other person. Each person takes a turn, and tries to one up the other with the funniest joke about their opponent. Now I've played this game, as long as it was clear that it was a game and not something to be used to insult another person and make them feel inferior. But this game was also used to hurt people, or verbally kill someone. I suspect the hurting comes from the type of argument I mentioned above.
Needless to say, this is a generational problem. Respectability politics have been carried around since its inception, and it's very toxic. It needs to be completely removed from our teachings and lessons. The older generations really need to quit dragging down other Black people and passing it on to their kids. This is why the kids kill each other. This is why we have some Black people:
- being so willing to sell each other and themselves out by dry snitching on themselves and friends
- writing entire raps about killing other Black people
- are disrespecting the women
- are completely ignoring the efforts of Black women in favor of Black men (inside and outside the corporate setting)
- scrutinize other Blacks who are trying to start businesses
- hate those who are poor or not as "attractive" as them
- define who is a "real nigga" or "the baddest bitch"
- say "it ain't nothing to cut that *** off"
- beat the hell out of their children in order to get them to behave like they want them to.
Not only that, they are doing a lot of these things in order to be liked, or in order to get money; from Clarence Thomas to any mainstream rapper that surprised some of us regarding how they got signed. But here's the thing:
I get it, we need money. All people invested in capitalism need money regardless of their race.
But at what cost are we willing to go there in order to get it?
Solutions, you ask? Well here it is. I think we need to divorce ourselves from respectability politics all together. We need to break up with it and cut that shit off, for real. It's killing all of us. Some of us won't be able to make it out. Just ask Clarence Thomas and Mia Love. But some of us will and can. Now I'm not saying that we all will be able to magically get along with each other and live in harmony, but divorcing respectability politics and re conditioning ourselves would be a great start because you can't cuss out and mistreat your people in order to get them to unify. If Morgan Freeman can wake up after providing the mantra for "self professed 'color blind' people" then there is a still a bit of hope in my heart.
